Portland, OR - Portland Mayor Ted Wheeler may have needed to change his pants after a protester rushed up to him at a city council meeting, reached under his jacket, and drew out a Pepsi.
The city council meeting on Wednesday morning was fairly tame, at least, as far as Portland city council meetings go. Then a protester who identified himself as Carlos Enrique, a former journalist for the Boston Herald, started to speak.
"I have covered city council quite extensively" Enrique said, "I have to say, I'm very surprised at like, how there's so many people who show up to city council and just kind of like, get angry at you, and yell at you, and stuff like that."
"It made me kind of wonder, like, how could somebody just endure people coming and berating you every week," he continud. "And you say I'm signing the ordinance anyway."
“What I realized is that the language of resistance has not been properly translated,” Enrique concluded as he stood up. “So this is for you.”
Enrique then beelined for Mayor Wheeler while reaching under his jacket. The mayor's face turned red and he put his hand up.
"Uh, uh, WHOAWHOAWHOAWHOA! Not a good move," the mayor said.
Enrique then handed Mayor Wheeler a sugary soft drink. The mayor was clearly relieved that his death was put off for a few more years as he slowly develops the diabeetus as a result of this long-term assassination attempt.
"Thank you," Mayor Wheeled said as he was handed his doom. "Don't do that again."
Two police officers then moved in to escort Enrique out. One of the officers then saved the mayor's life by snatching away the Pepsi. Not today diabeetus, not today.
"Welcome to Portland," Mayor Wheeler quipped. "Yeah, if this were the Boston City Council, that would have ended differently."
You can see the video of the incident below: